Christian Men, It’s Time to Take Responsibility for Marriage

I hear it all the time.
“Christian women are all feminists now.”
“They just want careers and independence.”
“There are no good women left to marry.”
Spend any time in online Christian spaces, and you’ll hear the same refrain. I’ve heard guys quote Andrew Tate, saying, “Why would I get married when women just want to take half my money?” I’ve seen men nod along when influencers like Rollo Tomassi say, “Women are hypergamous by nature. What if they leave you the second they find someone better?” Even within Christian circles, men like Ruslan KD and Kevin Samuels (before he passed) have repeatedly pointed out how modern women prioritize their careers over family and submission.

And look, I get it. Feminism has absolutely infected the Church. It’s convinced women that submission is oppressive, that they should delay marriage indefinitely, and that men aren’t necessary. The damage is real. But here’s what no one seems to ask:
If Christian women have been influenced by feminism, what have Christian men been doing?

Leadership Is Not Optional

I was reading through Hosea 4:14, where God condemns Israel’s unfaithfulness, saying, “I will not punish your daughters when they play the whore, nor your brides when they commit adultery, for the men themselves go aside with prostitutes.” John Calvin, in his commentary on this passage, makes it clear: when men fail, women follow. Matthew Henry adds that when men neglect their leadership, women turn elsewhere for guidance—even if it leads them into sin.
Now, think about that. If you look around and see Christian women embracing feminism, rejecting marriage, and resisting biblical roles, the first instinct is to blame them. But Calvin and Henry make it clear: men bear responsibility when they fail to lead.
And let’s be honest—have Christian men really been stepping up?

The Epidemic of Male Passivity

Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:5, warns that neglecting marital duties can lead to temptation. While this passage refers specifically to husbands and wives withholding intimacy, the principle applies broadly: when people fail to do what God calls them to, others suffer. If men delay marriage, fail to pursue godly women, and refuse to build homes that reflect biblical order, should we be surprised when Christian women are influenced by the culture instead?

When men fail to pursue marriage, women are left uncovered, unguided, and open to cultural deception. The modern Church is filled with single men in their late 20s and 30s who, instead of preparing to build families, are focused on their careers, their hobbies, or just avoiding responsibility altogether.

I know guys who say, “I’ll get married when I’m financially stable,” but then spend thousands on gaming setups, travel, and luxury watches. I’ve heard men say, “Women aren’t submissive anymore,” but they themselves don’t even lead in their own personal lives. Meanwhile, godly women are sitting in churches, waiting for someone to step up—only to be told, “You’re too independent.”
What do we expect from them?

Building a Biblical Future

Here’s the truth: If men want to see godly women, they need to lead godly women. That means:

1. Stop waiting for perfection. Find a woman who loves the Lord, commit, and build a life together.
2. Take responsibility. You can’t complain about feminism in the Church while refusing to pursue marriage and lead a family yourself.
3. Provide an alternative. Instead of just criticizing feminism, show women what biblical marriage looks like.

Men, we cannot sit back, watch feminism corrupt Christian women, and then blame them for it. If we truly want a generation of godly wives and mothers, we must first be a generation of godly husbands and fathers.

The problem isn’t just women. It’s us. And it’s time we do something about it.

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Written by Lucas Callejas